You aren’t lovable at all

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(Illustration by Carmen Moser )

 

Hey,

why do you hurt so much?

does it pain that much?

it is understandable, bud

 

but why do you hurt others?

do you feel their sighs and tears will fill your scars up?

 

what makes you feel better?

making others feel happy or

insulting them to ashes?

 

contradicting your own virtues and morals in attempts to look tough?

does overpowering others make you feel better about yourself?

 

I understand it is hard to put yourself together, but well?

does that give you the right to make fun of people for your own merriment?

 

a heartless cruel sadistic boy you are becoming

and not tough at all

 

you wish you were tough

you say now you shall think more with your brain than your heart

because that way you will live life logically

and happily

 

are you happy?

 

you wanted “metamorphisis”

but day by day you degrade further

 

here’s an advice

don’t become someone you would hate

 

if you look inside yourself and find darkness

then you aren’t lovable at all

 

your colors have faded to grey-scale

 

you are turning into something wrong

not necessarily something sinister

but just

wrong

 

something really wrong

something unguided, scared, weak

who belittles others to make themselves feel strong

but you are

weak

 

cry and scream all you want

these words shall remain here

dated 7th July 2017

and you shall come back to read this years later

for then I will have one question for you

 

 

do you love yourself?

 

if its a no

then I hate you too

 

remember that

always

 

don’t become someone you’d hate

stop mocking the people closest to you

don’t vent it out on others

put a leash on your humor

 

because I know you won’t apologize

 

maybe its too late to teach you how to do that

so I will only tell you to

not hurt others

 

let us be honest here

you don’t like how you behave

you say its just a phase

after which it will all be fine

like a wall that you will climb

and paradise on the other side you will find

that is what you say when starting a transition

that you will change

 

that is not how it works

there was no wall to begin with

you are what you are right now

change doesn’t come overnight

it takes months and years

and it is happening now

it never stops

 

 

love yourself a little more

be happy

smile more at others

even if you don’t want to

 

don’t give in to solitude

don’t let it consume you

and plant deviance inside of you

 

you need more light inside

more stars to decorate your planes

more moons to keep you calm

 

barren land is one thing

barren sky is another

latter is utter darkness

where life withers

 

don’t be like that

 

 

 

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